How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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