weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm getting married
To pizza
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
