dude i'm inner monologue high
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
