My room smells like vodka and shame
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Pappa wants mamma naked
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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