i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
