im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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