...so i touched it.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
