Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it's like her boobs came off with her bra

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(256): View more from Alabama

you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

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(513): View more from Ohio

literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.

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(714): View more from California

Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww

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(813): View more from Florida

Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.

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(847): View more from Illinois

i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero

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(516): View more from New York

I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.

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