So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
