I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
