People in love make me want to vomit
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
