can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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