Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
