i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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