I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize