the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
