I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize