i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
