You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
