he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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