Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
