Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
