I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
