Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
