So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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