I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
