Swine flu. Run for my life!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize