You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
