Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
