dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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