Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
