super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
