She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
