I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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