Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
