She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
