I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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