I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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