What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
