He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
