This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
