You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize