glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
