thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize