I could have mohawked her pubes.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
