Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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