i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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