I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
