Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
