Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
