how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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