I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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