Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
