I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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