I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
