The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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