How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We're too hungover to prance.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
