so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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