You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
