This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
