Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
