so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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