is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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