Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
