So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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