So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
