my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
