I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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