And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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